╭────────────────────────────────────────────────╮
│ do u want to be v popular on the online chats  │
│ but ur personality is a bag of wet scabs?  :(  │
│ do u experience irc anxiety? fold under the    │
│ slightest pressure like rondito's cardboard    │
│ apartment?       GOOD NEWS!!!!!!!!!!!!!        │
├─────────────────────────────────────┬──╮       │
│  SNIFF'S CHAT GHOSTWRITING SERVICE! │  ┥  ╼  ┅ ╡
├─────────────────────────────────────┴──╯       │
│ let ur favourite chatter's favourite chatter   │
│ chat ur chats for u so u can focus on mashing  │
│ ur horrible little raisin of a penis @ violent │
│ internet pornography!  :D                      │
│                                                │
│ for just ONE dollars per week i will:          │
│  - misquote the 1995 motion picture Hackers    │
│  - make ppl say 'lol' & 'lmao' ('rr' is extra) │
│  - bully darkmage (stupid gimp bitch)          │
│  - talk convincingly of times i had sex with   │
│      less-than-obese human women!              │
│  - antagonise l0dey (aging lesbian, burdened   │
│      neither by talent nor expectation)        │
│  - perform emoparts & ragequits for MAXIMUM    │
│      attention (made with 100% REAL rage)  >:| │
│  - cyber with octopus sexy white boy from USA  │
│  - make reference to a 1990s computer scene    │
│      that NONE of us were ever REALLY part of  │
│  ...all on YOUR stupid nick instead of my own! │
│                                                │
│* for more information PLEASE take ur own life *│
╰────────────────────────────────────────────────╯